Am I doing what I can...?

Today, I'm not doing what I could, or should do in order to see where and how I'm going to keep my family in our current home or move us to another place.
I'm scared out of my mind, and I'm not sure. I'm in a panic. I'm angry, confused, and frustated. YEP.
I'm at the career link center, and I'm wondering if I should even be here. I should be at home, packing up stuff. Freaking out beyond measure. Calling landlords to see who will take me in.
Except, here I am, writting about it instead of doing something.
How could I let this happen? My kids and I might actually have to go to a shelter- *gasp* a freaking shelter?!?!
I told myself I would never go back to that again-going to a shelter. Only here I am now, seeing that as my only option.
I hate myself for allowing my family to have to go through this-we're going to have to leave everything, pack only the needs, and go into the night, going to all places-a shelter.
I don't want to think that I'm too good for a shelter-I'm not, I've been in one before. Except now, I have three kids(and I"m no longer pregnant) and a stupid boyfriend who can't get a job or a place of his own.
I want to be faithful to God, I really do, except now I'm thinking-I trust you to have your hands in this, and you make me consider a shelter as a place to live???What kind of faith is that???
Okay, so I...Start trying to do the right thing(believe in God), do as much as I think I can do to stay in my apartment, leave my stupid boyfriend, try to get a job that I'll enjoy(take the job only to find out that I need insurance-thus why I'm at career link) only to have no answer about the insurance, no confirmed place to stay, and the job slipping through my hands as we speak?
I want to think about the Bible man, Job, who lost everything-his family,his livestock, his skin, and that normally gets me through things like this.
But it seems as though the closer I attempt at getting to God, the more crap I'm dealt with. What kind of crap is that?
I want to have wishful thinking-I want to believe that God has a plan in my life,and that He will provide me a way to overcome this.
But with each hour passing, my options are to take a job that I don't really want, live in a place that I vowed never toreturn to, and cry my eyes out about the current situation???
What am I doing wrong? What did I do that allowed my family to get to this low?
I want to blame God, I want to point the finger at Him, but I know all this is of my own fault. I should've paid my rent when I had the chance. I should've just paid my insurance when i had the chance, instead of wasting the money on who knows what(fast food,probably). But yet here I am, clinging to the only things i can at this moment-my family and God.
I'm getting ready to lose everything, and I'm not sure how I'll cope with this all.
I feel the strong need to cry.
WAHHHH!!!!!!!!!
(not so) Wise Mama