okay, so things in general suck majorly right now. My electric bill is due on the 29th, or else they will be turning off my service. The wonderful online college that I thought I was going into ASAP? their not so great right now, and it's been over a month since I paid them my hard earned cash in thought of returning back only to be held back from returning because everyone at the school is a douche bag. They aren't getting anything right, and for once, I'm doing what they're asking me to do. Now, they're asking me to do more, and I couldn't be more pissed. I never had to work this hard for financial aid in all my life! Why such the run-around? I couldn't be more pissed.
And, I'm off of welfare. At first, I thought that was a blessing from God, but now, it seems to be hurting my family even more. yes, we have food to eat, but we're running low, and if we don't get some sort of decent food in this house by next week, we will be completely out of food(aside from the canned things).
I need money to pay my bills, and I need food to feed my kids. Just when I think that GOd is going to bless me, I get all this, a snowball effect of crap. I couldn't be more pissed.
I'm trying not to tell anyone about this recent turn of events. Because, I'm trying to have faith that GOd is going to supply for my family. But, right at this very moment, after getting an e-mail from the college saying they need MORE things from me, I'm on the verge of tears. I'm holding it bakc as we speak.
My phone's off, the cable and the internet are shortly following suite, and my electric is on the verge of being terminated! I have no health insurance, I'm not even sure how on earth I'm going to pay my rent for this month, and we're running out of food.
I thought the blessing of God were underway,after all, I was doing all that I could. I know, I'm going to have to keep jumping through hoops in order to get my financial aid. I really need to finsish college, I'm soo close to getting an associates degree. But, why would I stop jumping through hoops with welfare, only to have to jump through hoops with financial aid? This is very upsetting for me right now. It seems like, I'm on the very edge of something good, but I'm not getting any indications of it, and I'm becoming dispaired. I don't know what to do anymore.
I'm going to get going. I'm going to try to read my Bible, hoping that God will give me some reassuring words of comfort or something. I'm about to lose my mind, and I'm not sure if I can do that anymore. I've lost so much of it as it is, trying to be with Robert sr. and overall in these past several years, that I'm not even sure I have any more to lose.
All I know is, God, if you're listening, do something!
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